If This Feels Familiar…
If getting out of bed already feels like too much…
If even replying to a text or an email feels like dragging a heavy weight…
If you apologize for simply trying to be understood…
If your mind feels foggy, like you’re thinking through water…
If one small mistake makes your chest tighten or your face go hot…
If you wake up tired, feeling like you’re already behind before the day begins…
If you’ve stopped seeing friends because you have nothing left to say…
If you can’t remember the last time you felt steady, not perfect, just steady inside…
Then maybe it’s worth taking a minute to read this short piece.
There’s nothing to sign up for, nothing to buy, no group to join.
Just a few words, maybe you’ll see a bit of yourself or someone you care about.
What you’re feeling isn’t weakness.
It’s your mind’s way of saying it’s depleted, but certainly not defeated.
Resilience can be rebuilt and strengthen.
Introduction
October 30, 2025
I wrote this piece on resilience during the first wave of Covid-19 in 2020. I recently took some time to update it because its message feels even more relevant today.
In Canada, about one in five people experience a diagnosable mental illness in any given year. At the same time, only about 54% of Canadians in recent surveys report their mental health as “excellent” or “very good.”
Those numbers shocked me. They made me angry and deeply sad. Angry that so many have lost the ability to cope with life’s storms, and sad that we’ve come to believe resilience can be outsourced to a pill.
Maybe it’s time we relearn what resilience really means. I know from personal experience that life will never be a piece of cake, but the feeling of helplessness doesn’t have to define us. We can still rebuild the strength to face setbacks, adapt, and recover, one step, one day, one act of courage at a time.
That’s why I decided to revisit this text. Resilience isn’t a theory or a slogan. It’s a daily practice, and the good news is that we can all get it back.
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November 1, 2020 (edited October 30, 2025)
Resilience
How to get it, how to grow mentally stronger, is not that much of a challenge.
But first, what is resilience?
We all know that life is about dealing with expectations and setbacks. We generally succeed by not letting the world get the best of us, through endurance and perseverance. Some people call that “strength of character.” Over time, we adapt. We learn to survive life-changing and stressful situations, such as Covid-19 back then, or the modern stresses we live with now: rising costs, social division, digital overload, the loss of privacy, and the constant feeling that we’re running out of time. The trick is not to let our fears win over our ability to move forward, no matter what.
Everyone experiences adversity differently. Whether it’s a pandemic, financial pressure, burnout, or the daily overload of bad news, life keeps throwing us curveballs. Facing the unknown or the displeasure of not always getting our way is part of becoming a stronger, more grounded human being. There’s no shortcut or pill that will spare us from the growing pains we all go through. It simply doesn’t work that way. Life can be wonderful as well as hard. Never easy. But each time we learn something new and keep our heads above water, we build resilience. We get stronger.
So how do we get resilient?
I’m not going to talk about theories, beliefs, or values. Let me just suggest a few practical things I’ve done to manage stress and build resilience.
- When I feel down, stressed, or just lousy because the world isn’t unfolding the way I’d like, I do something physical: I walk, run, use the Dyson vacuum, play tennis, shovel snow, clean the yard, run up stairs, dig holes, plant something… I get off my ass and stay active for as long as I can. Sometimes I hate doing it, but I don’t have a choice if I want to feel better. There’s a minimum: 30 minutes a day if you’re over 50 and fit. If you’re younger and fit, consider a minimum of two hours a day of physical activity. It may not solve your problems, but it will give you a break. It also makes you physically stronger. It builds strength as well as resistance to pain. That’s step 1.
However, that’s not enough. Remember, there’s no silver bullet, just hard work and the will to get through difficult times in one piece.
- Now the healing part kicks in. You’re physically in better shape. That’s a must. It’s not an option. Let’s move into second gear. For that, I talk to someone, a real person. Someone I trust will listen and be a good friend. Choose that person wisely. He or she must be strong and have enough experience in life to be patient and nonjudgmental. We’re talking about venting. Some call it bitching, but it works. Venting our pain and frustrations out loud alleviates tension and stress. Texting is not venting. It’s not physical enough. Venting will, at least for a short while, make you feel better. When I do that, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s hope, I tell myself. Venting helps me get rid of some of the pain just long enough to look clearly at my problem. That’s step 2
- Now I start thinking about my next step. Feeling a bit stronger, having had the chance to talk about it (again, no texting, but a real conversation, in person, on the phone, or through Zoom, Teams, FaceTime, whatever works). Then I think about how to solve my problem. The issue is, and will always be, what’s under my control. What can I change that will help me get through another day, another week, another few months? Little things can add up to real progress. That’s step 3.
Those 3 steps, combined, build resilience and form a simple but powerful routine for life. It’s a routine for mental health, a routine for human beings of all ages.
A word of warning: if you’ve tried hard and still don’t feel any better, see your doctor, talk to your parents, grandparents, friends, or get professional help. Don’t take no for an answer. If a health professional recommends medication, it probably means you’ve done what you could, but it wasn’t enough, and that’s okay. The goal is to get better, not to prove strength by suffering alone. Get help, get better, and then help everyone around you get through their own storms, in one piece.